Ivan Musoke



Its that time again, I’m house-sitting in Bugolobi and as such I won’t have very regular posts. This time round, I am not blessed with a TV so huge you can play table tennis on its screen, but what I do have is a wireless internet connection with no computer. It’s like that line in that song by that woman who says its like rain on your wedding day…its like inter-nets, with no com-puter.

I also happen to have DSTV which I utilize for work. Everyone else watches TV to unwind, but not I. I do it so I can earn a salary.


Idols, also known as that show where people go to sing and stuff, is coming to an end. Coming up is Big Brother Africa 3. The show that saw Tanzania in bed with Angola and Nigeria.

It goes without saying that I am really psyched for this thing. Its not even the whole prospect of viewing “public displays of romantic action”, but the fact that it is multi dimensional. Something is always happening. Or someone.

And there’s always someone we figure we are better than. It wasn’t quite the same with the Idols experience coz the lads and lasses there-on have better singing voices than I do, which is not saying much.


I was asked recently whether I have had the opportunity to smoke weed before…yes. Ages ago. And it made me paranoid, walking around telling people to stop looking at me like I was high. They weren’t looking at me. Hell, not even in my general direction. I take solace in the knowledge in knowing someone else was higher than I and propositioned a lady twice thinking he’d landed on two different people…

“madam, how much? What? THREE THOUSAND? Keep your ****!” individual proceeds to stagger a bit, turn around and (meeting the same lady again) asks, “madam, let me give you two thousand five hundred for a quickie…”


I went for comedy night recently after vowing not to and had myself a grand ol’ time. The problem is, I don’t know whether it was because I was drinking quite a bit… oh and I met some dude that was on the prowl for some “fine laydeez over hurr”… Told him he’d probably get himself some if he made sure no one caught on that he was from around “herrr’…fo sho’!

I watched WANTED the other day and I gotta admit, I was impressed with how mature we’ve gotten as a cinema going er, as cinema-goers. Seriously. Any one that has watched this movie will agree with me, it is so full of it, in the old days people would stand up and clap every so often (LOSERS ALL!), however every so often people would just look on, staring in awe… to borrow a word, with “eye-gasms”..but no claps. Impressive shit really.

…and I be here saying I am unemployed

I was on phone with a pal when the issue of my house-sitting came up, says she, “I didn’t know you did that, you should have sat for me when I was away…” Say I, “ I only do plush places..” Says she… well, you know what you said


Allow me to introduce y’all to. . .this blog

I watched Speed Racer, finally! The reason I was watching it in the first place is because it is from those brothers that decided, “screw physics, a guy can dodge bullets with his mind…” The movie plays out like an advert for paint…or a device for torturing epileptic insurgents in Iraq.


  1. then i know of people who have free high speed wireless access in their house. i have to pay for mine. how not fair is that. and on that note i have to watch speed racer. reality does need a fucking break at times.

  2. Wy do those idols people keep shouting in the microphone? Why wont the judges just close the show and scout all over again. That boy with ugly hair no vocal variation same tone, that Trinah chic just shouts in the thingie as if we cant tell she is singing if she kept it down, that Ugandan so boring I am thinking of suing Celtel or is it Zain for cheating for her. This is when I wish Simon was sitting on the Panel. And if she can survive past ten lives then I might as well dream, I mean all that mmoney. And what are they bringing back that Perv show BBA. We africans are very yuck people. Why am I throwing a tantrum here? I dont know

  3. Ivan
    tuff luck on the no PC
    but then again when you house sit at mine
    you will get no internet, no pc, no dstv, but a really good paycheck!

  4. Plush places??? There is so so so SO much that I could do with that…but lemme be good.
    Eye-gasms…I’ve learnt a new one.
    Lol B2B…then why exactly would he house sit, seeing as the re is nothing to steal? (By house sitting, I gather u mean Askari-ing?)

  5. “Its that time again, I’m house-sitting in Bugolobi and as such I won’t have very regular posts.”…. watch out everybody! blogger’s bloc has taken a new trend

  6. me i want a job house sitting its okay if you dont have a p.c internet i just need a fridge and dstv maybe a pool yeah thats all.
    lol eye-gasms my new word!am so scared of weed i kinda think i will walk naked or wind surf ontop of taxi cant be sure with what nature has conjured up to be mind distorting.

  7. Wanted…That’s one hell of a movie.And Jolie has officially climbed to the top of my fave actresses’ list.
    Having seen her in Tomb Raider, and Mr. and Mrs.Smith,I must admit that she’s got greater stuff coming.
    Oh,I loved her in Beouwulf!
    Please note:I am NOT obsessed with Jolie!Honest!

  8. How did you know the details of the propositioning… confess it was you!!
    A quickie for two thousand five hundred!!! Have ‘things’ gotten that cheap?!?!?!

  9. Pity … we were going to compare and see if the other TV’s vocabulary had improved in the interim… you know … the other tv that would hiss and had attitude!!

  10. OH!MY!GOD!
    This place is soooo blue!!! i was so sure i was lost!!!
    let me get used to the colour and settle in

  11. @31337: This warning may come in too late, but what the heck, do not watch it whilst high.
    @Chanel: Idols is over, with any luck this sets your mind at ease.
    @Scotch: Its not dirty… everyone has em..eyes, I mean.
    @Tumwijuke: I know what you mean…not to be watched with a hangover
    @Antipop: No one had noticed, damn you!
    @Leos Child: There was a fridge…it was empty
    @ Petesmama: I withdraw the offer from the table. Keep your Tuna 😛
    @B2B: What can i download to the Paycheck…wait, that may not be a bad idea, bring on the house.
    @ Cheri; As in there’s so much you could do with plush places? You dirty dirty girl!
    @ April:…

  12. @April: Which bank? I’m not too crazy about Crane Bank… kinda scares me
    @Rockthis: thanks, keep on Rockin’
    @Slybard: I watched Wanted to get over Jolie. I am happy to announce that i am Jolie free…which is odd, I’d have expected the name Jolie-Pitt to send me gagging ages ago.
    @ Alesi: It wasn’t me, honest… re: the price… food in some parts is ridiculously cheap
    @Duksey: but you have a house near mine, some party?
    @ Heaven: Say Please.

  13. dude, what with all this talk about sitting on houses, how small are these houses that people can be hired to sit on, save that or you guys have the biggest arses this side of the sahara, no wait, that could already be true.

Leave a Comment