Ivan Musoke

Dear Beyonce Knowles Zee

Its been a while. In fact, its been ages. Some have pointed to the possibility that my beef with you is because you ended up with Gay Z and not me. That’s not true, I applaud your choice in collaborative partnerships. Others have suggested that I am hating on you because you are bootylicious and I am not. I have ha-ha-d those ones.

The simple fact is, me for me, I think they over gave you props. I liked Kelly better. Even when you tried to tell me mbu work it out, my eyes there for Kelly. Then you did the song bootylicious and I found myself listening. Taking note even. I didn’t like that. I was trying to get you out of my system and then you pulled that move on me. That wasn’t fair.

I won’t even go into the fact that you went and introduced a new word into the English Language. I am cool with that. Granted its not cool that your silly word made it into Oxford’s Big-ass dictionary and our “blogren” only features amongst us. I mean what the hell? Mbu you have money? For us we be here chillin’ with our communist ways, you you go and pay for them to put a word in the dictionary. How did Taata Beyonce take it? Me I know there are no those ones of Win School Fees in your Coca Cola side of life. A guy has to pay through his teeth to get an education for his own individual self and his ka-independent woman of a daughter. Then you go and repay him how, by coming up with some new word. ****! You’re not even funny.

But I let that go because you stopped saying those things in public. Atti, this is why I’m bootylicious ,mbu this is why you are not. Nuh’mean…Cummon, who the hell do you think you are? Have you seen Jessica Alba … as Susan Storm? Chic was invisible but she still got me thinking! Have you seen Angelina Jolie? Bambi, Poor chic is aging. .. But anyway, I was easy…

Then after that you went and did soldier with L’il Wayne, who in my opinion looks like he is trying to deal with constipation. Couldn’t you hire someone to pose as a rapper? Like Britney’s ex or Bobby Brown? You be there mbu hiring L’il Wayne.

Naye, As luck had it, at that time I went and fell HARD for Rihanna. That chic was Pon de replay of my emotions. She told me mbu I don’t mind dem haters, us for us We ride. And she was not a selfish girl, nga doesn’t she ask me, if its loving that I want, oba the music of the sun. But probably because of your influence, the ka poor Good girl’s gone bada, but still, she did Umbrella, N’ella… ella…eh eh, Omwana oli…she could sing Overcoat and I’d still Bring it back…

Now you try to introduce a new word, simanyi Freakum Dress…What the ****!!


  1. HAAAAA…another Beyonce hater!!Me also me i love rihanna, but man with my forehead and her forehead..those will be some big-ass forehead kids!!

  2. There are many Beyonce-haters. I am into exclusive stuff. So I love, love, love Beyonce.
    Actually, back then, before anybody discovered she wasn’t nearly half as deep as the other girls of Destiny’s Child, I had pronounced a curse on her.
    Glad to see y’all are coming ’round to seeing things I and I way.

  3. Asked my kid bro who he’d take if he was offered either Rihanna or Beyonce Steak. He said, “Neither. Give me Ciara any day.”
    Frankly, I wouldn’t know the difference between the two warblers. And while I am at it, what a useless song is “Beautiful Liar?” What a stupid music video!
    P.S.: I am a hater. Chicks have hips I can only dream of …

  4. Oh man forget beyonce i’m tired of her. And please no ones hating on her, Beyonce is not all that pretty. Anyone can look glamoures they have special places where you take pictures and look just as pretty so why do anyone have to hate. All she dose is shake her ass even i could do that. I seen the girl no big deal, i even model her clothing line which is so not all that. take all the makeup off she just like you and i. she very quite though, dont really talk much unless when ask.

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