Ivan Musoke

Character Assassination : The Beginning

Man I hate bullets. It’s not so much the whole “they kill people thing”. I know they do, but I am not afraid of death. We all have to die some time, right? I made my peace with that. The thing about bullets, and I’m sure you’ll agree, is that they hurt. A lot! And they place people in hospital beds and shit.


Hollywood paints a pretty glamorous picture of shoot-outs. Mostly slow motion and black and white flashbacks. Then the screen fades to black signaling the end of a character’s life. Or the beginning of some messed up situation where the said character has this desire to seek vengeance or some such thing.


That’s not entirely accurate.


The bullet that hit me was not moving in slo-mo. It knew exactly where it was going and it had a sense of urgency about it. Also, my life didn’t flash in front of my eyes. It was just sound of gun fire and then the whore screamed and I thought maybe I’d hit her. I distinctly recall thinking to myself that as far as losses go, that wasn’t much of one. Then I felt a searing pain and then there was that classic fade to black moment.


There was no grim reaper or angel of death babbling on and on about how I’d been bad and was going to hell. Straight to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go directly to hell. Actually, in hindsight, that might have been a little funny.


Had it happened.


None of it occurred.


Just a shot. Pain.  A scream. Then darkness.




  1. Yay! He’s dead. Good for him. Now we’ll be rid of his sarcasm on our blogs. And his refusing to accompany us to weddings. And his refusal to dance and dress up. Well, all the things we won’t miss.

  2. he’s back but then did he ever leave…amazing, gripping and i cant wait for the sequel…
    the readers of esquire and the sunshine magazine always find Ivan’s posts amazing…two thumbs up!
    P.S come to think of it…am not sure anymore if indeed your life flashes before your eyes…

  3. So did you just breeze by or what!!!???
    Our detective has been hit… that is quite a twist. Or did i misunderstand and it is Albert who has been hit?
    Naa!! I do believe it is our nasty little cop, no less!!!

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